Reflections on My First Semester

Right now, I feel the greatest sense of accomplishment I have ever felt in my life. I feel, at this moment, more proud of myself than I ever have been. As I was walking back home today after my last class, I felt more accomplished than when I walked across the stage at graduation or when I went on a mission trip for two whole months or when I got second place in the nation for my essay. I am so proud of myself because I have finally completed my first semester of college.

Yes, it's true. The never-ending pile of homework, classes, finals, papers, exams and quizzes has finally come to an end. As of 9:00 this morning, I was officially completely done with my first semester of college.

This semester has been, by far, three of the hardest months of my life. Coming here was the hardest thing I have ever done. I walked away from the only world I ever knew to come to a place where nobody knew my name. I left behind all my friends and family to chase after a dream God had given me years ago. It wasn't easy. It was a transition that consisted of a lot of tears and a lot of days where I would just sit in the prayer room asking God why He would ever think bringing me here was a good idea. It took a lot of work to transition into a life where I had to actually make an effort to make friends and do well in school. Life was so easy for me pre-NCU; I never had to do homework and making friends came naturally to me. Here at NCU, neither of those things were true. It was a slow process and it took a lot of effort, and some days, it still takes more effort, but I'm getting there.

These past three months have also been the best months of my life. I have changed so much in my time here at NCU. I have grown so much closer to God and have experienced and learned things I never imagined doing or learning. I made friends with some of the most incredible people I have ever met; friendships that I'm sure will last throughout my life. I have had so much fun. I have made memories that I will never forget. I have laughed harder than I have ever laughed before. I have found joy in the Lord, even when my days were bad. I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned that I am always going to be a work in progress. I'm not perfect, and I'm learning to be okay with that. I'm an introvert in more ways than I thought. I grew up a lot. I had to do a lot of "grown up" things this semester. I am not the same person today as I was when I walked into these doors for the first time.

The second day of this semester, I wrote a letter to myself to open on the last day of this semester, and I'd love to share it with you guys, so here it is:

Dear Second Semester Elyse,
As you write this, you have been 18 for three days now and today is your second day at NCU. You have a lot of mixed feelings. You know without a doubt that this is where God wants you, but this is a brand new experience for you. You miss people back home and are really lost and worried. You're terrified.
I hope that changes. I believe it will. I believe you will do wonderful things with God and you will not be the same person reading this that is writing this. This is where you belong. Your dreams are finally coming true and you're taking a step of faith into what God has for you. I am so proud of you. God is going to do great things in and through you.

Goals

1. Grow closer to God.
2. Feel more at home.
3. Make friends.
4. Open up; get out of your shell.
5. Trust God more.

This is going to be a great year. God has wonderful things in store for you.

Sincerely, 

First Semester Elyse

I am proud to say I accomplished all of my goals and more in these past few months. God has worked in me in incredible ways and I am so glad to have had this experience. I never thought I'd say this, but I don't want it to be over. I am glad for the break from school work that I will have, but I'm not really sure if I'm ready to move on from this semester into the next one. I don't know if I'm ready to go spend a month at home and transition into the next stage of life. But I know everything will be okay, because it's all a part of this incredible journey that God has me on and I'm just along for the ride. He has been faithful and good to me so far, He will continue to do so.

So today, I am proud. I am ready to see what else God has for me. I am thankful for these past few months, however difficult they have been. I am thankful for the people God has placed in my life at this time and for the people back in Michigan that will be welcoming me back. I am thankful for this new home, for this school, and for the fact that I am a new person today. I am reflecting back on what God has done for me, but yet looking forward to what else He is going to do.

To all my fellow NCU students, we did it! We finally made it through the horrors of finals week and all the weeks before it. This may have been the best semester of your life, it may have been the worst. If it's been the best, look forward to how God is going to make it even better next semester and be thankful for the times you've had. If it's been the worst, tomorrow brings the hope of a fresh start. I hope you all have a fantastic break, get rested up, continue to seek God, and come back ready to tackle next semester and finish the year out strong.

God bless you guys.

Still I Will Praise You

I have $800 due for my Kenya trip tomorrow and I have pretty much none of it. I know this is a rough way to start out a blog post, but it's what's on my mind. I'm sure this is going to be a very vulnerable post, so bear with me.

I wasn't okay with this. I didn't know how to deal with it, because I have never been called to a trip God didn't provide for. I have always, always had God come through, and tonight, I don't really know if that is going to happen. It's hard. It makes me question God. It makes me question myself. It makes me question if I really heard from God calling me on this trip or not.

I'll be honest with you guys. I've been ignoring God a lot this past week, for a few reasons. One of the main reasons was because I didn't know how to be okay with this whole money situation. I spent some time with God tonight, though, and He spoke a few things to me about this.

He brought me to the story in Daniel about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. If you've ever been in Sunday school, you know the story. They were about to get thrown into a fiery furnace for not bowing down to an idol and they responded in Daniel 3:17-18

"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand. But even if He does not, we want you to know that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

Those verses just blow my mind. I can't believe the amount of trust those three men had in God. They weren't facing $800. They were facing a life or death situation, and they chose to stare into those flames and say their trust was still in the Lord. I really love verse 18, where they say, "Even if He does not, we want you to know we will not serve your gods." That's so amazing to me. I want to have that kind of faith, that kind of trust. I want to be able to say, "Even if God doesn't provide this $800, I will still serve Him." And tonight, I will say that. I will trust God, regardless of what happens with this money.

God may provide in a miraculous way for me tonight. He may not. But whatever happens, I will still serve Him. I will still put all my trust and faith in Him. I will still follow Him. I will still love Him with all of my heart. Because He is my God, and in all things, He is faithful.

Thankful

Today, I am so thankful. I am so blessed. God has blessed me so much and I constantly stand amazed by Him.

It's a tradition in our family to go around the table and say what we're thankful for before we eat every Thanksgiving. Usually, I say things like family or friends, and don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for those things too, but today I had a new thing to say. I am thankful for North Central. I am thankful for these past couple of months. Looking back to who I was when I left this town, I am so incredibly different from that person. I have changed so much and God has been a huge part of that. He has taken me to North Central, blessed me with all my friends there, and changed me from the inside out. And for that, I am thankful.

I am thankful today for journeys. I am thankful for the hard times, for the times I sat in my bed staring at the celling wanting nothing but to turn around and quit. I am thankful for the times I've spent in the prayer room, begging God to give me some answers. I am thankful for chapel, for my professors, for praise gatherings, for the students at NCU. I am thankful for the people God placed in my life these past few months to help me grow even closer to Him. I am thankful for the Friday nights I've spent trying to find something to do with some of the best people I've ever met. I am thankful for the fact that every single night, I am amazed at how beautiful Minneapolis is. I am thankful for the horrible winter that's about to come, for the snowball fights and snow angels I have made and will continue to make. I am thankful for 4 North, the best floor ever. I am thankful for having two homes now. I am so thankful.

I think today of all the NCU students, spread across the country, spending Thanksgiving with our families. I miss everyone already and I am so blessed to be apart of such an incredible community.

Thank you, God.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Longing

Before I start off this post, I have a prayer request for all you guys out there. I just found out yesterday that in 15 days, I owe $800 for my Kenya mission trip this Spring Break. I'm trusting that God will provide and that He will prove Himself faithful, I just also need a lot of prayer. Pray that the money comes in and pray that I will be strong and have the faith that it will in fact come in.

Okay, moving on.

Today, I fasted. I was praying mainly about the Kenya trip and the funds that go along with it. Tonight, we had a Miller Hall LifeCore where all the girls from Miller Hall got together and did a service and just ran after God. It was a really great night, but I was so distracted by how hungry I was. I realized that I was focused more on the fact that I would be able to eat in a few hours than on the service. God really spoke something to my heart at that moment. What if I longed after God the way I longed after food? What if I realized that I need Him more than I need food? What if I hungered and thirsted after Him as passionately as I do for actual food and water? How, then, would He be able to move in my life?

I want to. I want to have such a hunger for God, others can see it in me. I want to be so passionate about seeking His face. I want to fall so deeply in love with Him. I want to long after His touch and His presence in my life. I want to get to that place of intimacy with Him, but I don't know how.

So I guess that brings me to a second prayer request for you guys. Please be praying that God will teach me how to hunger after Him, how to truly long for and seek after Him with all that I've got.

Thanks guys, you're the best! (:

You Make All Things New

A few small things came to an end today. Normally, these would be things that I wouldn't think twice about, but today, they caught my attention. I'm not sure why, but they got me thinking.

The first of these things was that I finished writing in the last page of my prayer journal during my time with God today. I know, it's only a journal, and to probably anybody but me, it doesn't mean anything. But to me, that journal contains my thoughts, fears, ambitions, dreams, tears, and cries to God. The first entry in that journal was made June 13th of this year. At that time, I was questioning the call God had placed on my life to come here to North Central, and now, as I wrote the few last sentences in this journal, I know with complete assurance that I am supposed to be here and this is my home. I have been through so much from the time I wrote the first word on those pages to today - when I wrote the last word. I have been on a crazy journey with God, and now, as I look at that journal - I know that He was there every step of the way. He was there, listening to my every prayer and thought. He never left my side, and He never will. He has brought me through what has been the craziest and hardest times of my life in these past few months, and I am thankful for that journal to be a reminder of what God has done in my life. I am thankful that I am not the same person I was when I started that journal.

On the last page of my journal, I wrote this:
"I'm on the last page, God. Thank you for this journal and the journey it represents. Bless the people that gave this to me. Lord, thank you that this is not the end of a journey, but only the beginning. I wish I could end at a better spot, but God you are still moving and working and I believe that you will do that in my life until the day I die.
Be with me always, Lord. Never leave my side. Burn a passion for you so bright in my heart. Give me your heart, your burden for your people.
I will never find the words to describe you. You are awesome, Lord. Thank you for being al that you are. Thank you for faith. Thank you that I do not understand you, but you are always faithful.
I love you God.
Your will be done, forever and ever, amen."

While I was writing those words, God showed me that His work will never be done in my life. He will never stop moving and drawing me closer to Him. He will always make new things in my life. And I don't know about you, but that just amazes me. It is so awesome to me that my God loves me enough to keep working in my life every single day until the day that I die. And because of this, I will chose to praise Him all of my days. I will chose to put Him first always, even on the off days, because God is still moving. And that is just incredible.

Another thing that came to an end today for me was the New Testament. I've been reading through it since I went on my trip to NYC this past summer, and today I finally read the last few chapters of Revelations. I thought it was pretty cool how two things that have to do with my personal life with God came to an end today. In those chapters, I found the verse Revelation 21:5, which says "I am making everything new!" It was really going along with what God was already speaking to me, so I thought it was great.

I love that God is making new things in my life, and that He will never stop bringing me closer to Him and creating me to be more like Him. I am so thankful for all that He has done in my life, for this journey I am on with Him, and that He will never stop. It's all really, really awesome. I serve an amazing God.

[Oh, and random side note: look up Revelation 21:3-4 sometime. Those verses are a really awesome reminder of what it's going to be like once we finally see Jesus.]

God bless you guys today. I hope you're all doing well and that through reading this (really long) post, God was able to at least speak something to your heart. You are all in my prayers and I hope that your journeys with God are going as well as mine is. Remember that He will never leave you and He is always looking to do new things in your life, you just have to let Him.

Peace to you all. (:

Just a Little Something to Remember

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."
-1 John 4:4

I read this this morning and really loved it, so I thought I should share it with you guys. I'm going to try to do this more often. I've been waking up 20 minutes early and reading a few chapters in my Bible before I start the day and I'm planning on picking a verse a day from that reading to memorize and meditate on throughout the day. It's pretty sweet. God's word is awesome.

Faith

I wish I could sit here and type out a whole blog post about everything God is doing in my life, because it is just so amazing, but unfortunately, it's almost midnight and I have a 7:45 class in the morning, so this is going to have to be short, sweet, and to the point.

God is doing huge, and I really do mean huge, things in my life. The two main ones include going to a different country and sort of changing what I have planned for my life. For the first one, I'm applying to go to Kenya this Spring Break on a Ninedays trip. The second, well, I have this new dream. I want to open a home for teens recovering from the addiction of self-mutilation. It's a bit more intricate than that, but that's basically it.

I know these things may not seem very huge, but let me give you a little bit of background. My whole life, I've known I'm going to be a missionary. I'm called to go to the ends of the Earth and preach the Good News to anyone that will listen. I know that. I've always known that. I think it was in Junior High or something like that when God specifically told me it was going to be to China. So ever since then, I have been set in stone about the fact that I am going to China and teaching English and telling people about God. Well. God may have different plans. With the Kenya thing, one of the trips I could go on is to Asia. I thought that was the trip I was going to go on. It only made sense, right? Apparently not. I prayed about it and a lot of things happened to confirm (long stories) that I am, in fact, supposed to go to Kenya instead. With the opening a home for teens struggling with self-mutilation thing, well, that kind of goes against everything I have ever planned for my life, against everything I have known God has been calling me to. But now He's calling me to this. It's really confusing. Trust me, I know.

I don't know what God's doing right now. I don't know if I'm going to open a home in China or somewhere else or what. I don't know if this new calling means I'm not going to be a missionary (though I really hope and don't think it means that at all). I don't understand. I have no idea what's going on, but that is so beautiful. It is so beautiful because all of my life I have been the type of person that needs every little detail of my life planned out. I'm really crazy about it, and this new thing God is doing in my life - it terrifies me. It makes me feel like I've had it all wrong. But it also excites me. It makes me so excited, because each day is a new surprise now. It's so incredible to watch God move.

The main thing all of this is taking is faith - faith that He knows what He's doing, faith that I will somehow get the finances to go to Kenya (because Lord knows I have no idea where that money is coming from). I am needing to put a whole heck of a lot of faith in God, and that is what He has been teaching me. He has brought many, many Bible verses to me about faith (Hebrews 11 is my new life chapter for this season in my life) and today in church, the sermon was about faith. Coincidence? I think not.

So I'm on this new journey with God. This journey of pursuing my dreams and seeking after God with everything in me, this journey of putting faith in God because I know He will not let me down. It's terrifying. I hate it. But I also love it. It's so cool. God is so cool. I love this.

Pray for me, guys. I'm gonna need it.

These moments.

Chapel today was awesome. Jared Anderson lead worship and there wasn't a message or anything, we just worshiped God the whole time. I loved it. I am a total worshipper. I could just spend hours in a service like that, worshiping Christ, and I'd be totally content with my life.

God really speaks to me through worship, and today, He gave me a simple but very profound word. Throughout my life, I have had some really awesome moments with God; New Zealand, Europe, Haiti, Acquire The Fire, Church camp, EMU lock-ins, etc. They have all been incredible and God has touched me in them, and I often look to them to remember how amazing God is. I find myself often thinking back on the way that God moved in those moments and asking God to show up in a similar way.

Well, today, God kept telling me the words "these moments" and at first I didn't really understand what He was saying, but I realized after a while what He meant. My life here, now, at college, is one of those moments. Sure, it's extended on a longer period of time, but my life right now - I am living in one of those moments. These moments, this life - God is here and He is working and it's incredible, and some day I am going to look back on these moments and think "wow, those four years changed my life. God really moved there." It's just really encouraging to me.

Oh, and another thing. For the first time ever today while I was praying during worship, I told God that I am home. I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, but to me it meant a whole lot. I've been really struggling with feeling at home here, and wow, I just declared it today that this is my home and with Him is where I belong always, regardless of location. He has me here now, and that means I am home. Pretty cool, huh?

(:

Growth

Tonight, I learned something about God. I learned that He moves in a lot of different ways and that there are multiple ways to connect to Him. Tonight when I went into the prayer room I was about to do my usual routine of writing out a prayer, reading my Bible, and listening to some worship music. Don't get me wrong, this method has worked for me for years. It's kind of become what God and I do, but I think that it also got me into this rut where I thought that was the only way to connect to Him, and tonight I learned that God likes to move in me in different ways.

As I went to the prayer room tonight. I had a lot on my mind about this novel I am going to be writing in november for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). I was stressing out about it, but I knew that for some reason, God had really been laying it on my heart. I knew that He wanted me to write a book in which He would shine through every page. He gave me this dream tonight, and He showed me that He can work through my writing, even if it's not the typical prayer to Him. He works through many of my different writings if I just give them up to Him. So I tried something new. I told Him I was going to write Him a poem, and well, here it is. I titled it "growth."

The one who turns the acorn into a tree
is also growing new works in me.
The one who taught the sparrows to fly
is daring me to reach for the sky.
The one who wipes away every hidden tear
is constantly drawing me near.
The one who commands the stars to shine
is telling me that He is mine.
The one who repairs every broken heart
is taking me back to the start.
The one who paints the sunset
makes sure that all my needs are met.
The one who allows the sun to rise
is placing new dreams in my mind.
The one who paid the ultimate price
is calling me forth to lay down my life
in reckless abandonment to his praise
to forever make known His name.
To use the dreams He has given me
to help set the captives free.
To lead, to love, to break down the chains
that entangle His children in a world full of pain.
To lay down everything at the foot of His cross
to reach and find those that are lost.
To break down every single wall
until His name is the only one I call.
When I am lost, broken, or afraid
I will rely on the promises in His name.
I know He is the living Christ.
In Him I alone I have found my life.
I will praise Him 'till my lungs give out.
From every mountain top I will shout
that my God, who turns the acorn into a tree
is growing new works in me.

I was made to know Your love.

As stated in my last post, God has been doing incredible things in my life as of this past week or so. It has been so cool just to watch and feel Him move and to see the change that He has made in my heart. I don't think I can even put it into words or describe it, but I am just this new creation in Christ now. It's incredible.

The main thing that God has been working on me is to just fall in love with Him. He has shown me that I lost it. I lost the love that I once had for God, the intimacy that comes in knowing Christ. I was going through the motions and doing good things and even feeling God move every once in a while, but I wasn't in love with Him. I wasn't seeking after Him. I wasn't running after Him with everything in me. I wasn't leaving everything in reckless abandonment to His praise. I wasn't living my life at His feet, desperate to know Him more. I just wasn't in love with Him anymore, and once I realized that and asked God to teach me to fall back in love with Him, things started changing.

I am now so totally and completely in love with God and it has become very evident in my life. I think about Him more now. I am more dedicated in my prayer life and reading my Bible isn't a chore or an item on a to-do list, it is something that I value and long after. I seek His face more and cherish every moment I get to worship Him in. I hear His voice urging me to do new things and to better myself. I live my life to bring Him glory and honor. I just want so much more of Him in every moment of every day and I seek constantly after that.

I'm not saying all of this to say that I am some great Christian or that I'm so holy and wonderful. I'm saying this so that you guys can understand that once God takes ahold of your heart, it changes your life. It changes every single aspect of your life, and it's amazing. It's this journey that you go on with God and each moment brings new, wonderful things and you just stand so amazed at His beauty. It's amazing. I can't even put it into words.

Today, I was talking to my best friend, Jessica, on the phone. We were just catching up and talking about how life has been as it has taken us on our separate paths, and I was just telling her about how God is doing all these great things. I'm pretty sure I went on for about ten minutes just talking about what God is doing in my life, and then I said "I'm sorry, I'm sure I sound really weird right now," and she replied with "No, you sound like yourself. Trust me." And that really, really hit me. I don't think she realized it, but it hit me so hard and it was a total blessing to me.

I realized that when I am in love with God, I am myself. So many times I try so hard to figure out who I am or what I am, you know, all those hard questions we always ask ourselves. I try to write it out, to define my being, but it hit me tonight that none of that matters, because I find my identity in God alone. When I am in love with Him and seeking His face and watching Him move, then I am me. I am who He created me to be. I was made to know His love. Isn't that incredible? The God of the Universe created us to be ourselves when we are intimate with Him.

We were made to know His love.

Blessings,
Elyse Moreno (:

Update

Wow, guys. God has been doing so much in my life. It's been insane. I've been on this incredible journey with Him, especially in the last few days even. Ah, I can't even begin to describe it, so here is a few little things God has been showing me. I will expand on them sometime later, but I have homework and lots of stuff to do tonight, so no time for a long blog post. :( Anyways, here's what God's doing:

• Showing me He is in control, and He knows what He's doing. Teaching me that no matter what happens, He's will always have my best interest in mind.
• Teaching me to fall in love with Him more and more each second of each day.
• Walking with me, every day.
• Teaching me to acknowledge Him in the small things, in the little moments where I find myself alone.
• Showing me that I am never alone. He is always by my side, in everything I do.

Well, guys. There's probably more that I'm forgetting, but as of right now, this is it. God is so great and I am falling more in love with Him all the time. I am so happy to be called a child of the living Christ. I will keep you guys updated more when I have more time to sit down and spell it all out for you. But for now, this should hold you over. (:

Oh and Ps. Be praying for me, please. I'm giving my testimony to a class on Friday and I'm a tad bit nervous. Thanks guys, you're the best. (:

Priorities

Have you ever found yourself somewhere and wondered how the heck you got there? I'm not talking about literal places, but in life. Like somehow all of the sudden you're at rock bottom and you don't understand how it happened. You didn't notice your life spiraling out of control until it was too late to do something, and all of the sudden you find yourself at this place where you don't really know what or who you live for anymore.

Today, I found myself there. I found myself in this place where I go through the motions, where I'm complacent, where there is no strive for more. I blamed it on the busyness of life for a while, but that's no excuse for neglecting the person that saved my life. I think it's really easy to get here on a Christian campus. I'm constantly surrounded by people that love God, I have no choice but to go to chapel every day, and I hear about God pretty much every moment during classes. I study the Bible in my classes and go to Praise Gatherings every Wednesday night. It's routine. It's easy. But there's no personal connection, no strive to have more and more of God. It's just going through the motions of being a student at a Christian college.

I'm not saying that I'm not saved or that I don't love God or anything like that, because I do. I love God with my whole heart, but that's still not enough. It's not enough to just be happy with where I am in my walk with God. Because when that happens, I find that I'd much rather text my friends than read my Bible. I'd much rather finish up on my homework than spend a few moments alone with God. And those things are good things. Friends, homework, Facebook - that's all good stuff, when it's put into it's place. And it's place is NOT before God. It should never, ever take priority over Christ, and if I'm being completely honest, it is right now in my life.

So today God called me to do something that may seem like a little thing, but to me it's a pretty big thing. He said to turn off my phone for a week and to just press into Him. I believe with my whole heart that He has something huge in store for me here. He didn't bring me here for no reason, He has a purpose, I'm just ignoring it and letting other things take priority in my life. So, this week, my phone is staying off. I'm just going to love God and seek His face and see what He has for me. I am so excited. I know that it's going to be great. He's going to change my life because every single day I spend with Him is a chance for my life to be radically altered by my Creator.

I hope this week is awesome for you guys, and that you are also changed by God in the days to come. I know that God has something big for each and every one of us, sometimes we just have to evaluate ourselves and see where our priorities truly lie. It's going to be a great week, guys. I really believe it.

Talents

Well, it's been a crazy two weeks here at NCU. I've been really busy with classes, homework, chapel services, various floor events, and attempting to maintain a bit of a social life. It's been great, it's been hard, and I can finally say I love it here. It's incredible being surrounded by people who have the same passion for Christ as I do. I love the atmosphere. I love everything about this place.

I have made quite a few friends since coming here and I am so grateful for each and every one of them because I know that God has placed them in my life to be such a blessing to me. They already are incredible blessings and it's just so cool to watch God bring more and more awesome people into my life.

God has been doing a lot in my life since I got here. If I sat here and wrote every single thing out, I wouldn't be finished until class tomorrow. I'm sure that over the course of the year, I will be posting about most of these things, but one in particular stood out to me tonight especially during our Life Core meeting: talents.

I'm not one of those girls that really struggles with self-image. That's just not me. Sure, I have my days when I don't feel as beautiful as I should, but I never sit and tell myself I'm fat or ugly or my nose is too big or something like that. That's just not me. God has blessed me with being able to see the beauty he has created me with, and I'm really glad for that. So tonight when we were doing our Life Core meeting, it was all about lies that you tell yourself or allow the Devil to tell you. Most of the girls in my group were writing things about self-image issues, but that wasn't what came to mind for me. What came to mind for me was my talents.

I think I have no talents. I'm not just saying that so that people can comment and tell me that I'm oh so talented, so don't think that. I'm just being real with you guys. I'm so hard on myself when it comes to talents. I suck at sports. I can't paint or draw or knit or do anything artsy to save my life. I can't sing or dance. I can't tell you a single thing about anything Science related. I'm good at school, yeah, but I'm not the best. I can write, sure, but so can a lot of people. It's nothing special. But God has really been working with me on this. He has been showing me that I do, in fact, have talents. Talents that I can use in my life. And He showed me in a pretty silly sounding way. For my Foundations of Leadership class, we had to take this test called the "Strength Finder" and these were my top five strengths:

1. Belief (sticking to a strong sense of values)
2. Developer (seeing the good in people)
3. Restorative (being able to deal with problems)
4. Input (finding interest and excitement in "the little things")
5. Futuristic (dreaming big and going after those dreams)

So after I got my results, I read a little bit about the strengths I have. And for the first time in my whole life, I saw my talents as something that was worth something. I saw them as useful. I saw how I could use them in the real world. For the first time ever, I felt like I actually had talents.

I know now. I know that God made me with many, many talents. I know that He sees those talents and is so proud of me when I use them for Him. I may not be able to play a sport, but I can ace a test. I may not be able to dance or sing, but I can move people with my words. I may not be able to paint a picture, but I can write a story. I can talk in front of people. I am passionate. I can dream bigger than most. I can stick to my values in hard times. I am compassionate. I am on fire for God. I run hard after what God has for me. I live my life with reckless abandonment.

It's really, really cool to finally see this; to finally see worth in my talents. I am so blessed and I am so glad God showed me this. It's really incredible. I hope you guys see it too, I hope you know that God made you with talents that are specific to His life plan for you. He doesn't make mistakes. He knows what He's doing. Remember that.

God bless.

Why ANOTHER Blog?

Hello (:

For those of you that know me, you may or may not know that I have another blog on Tumblr, but I've decided that it's time to enter the fascinating world of Blogger yet again (I've done this in the past, just never really kept up with it) and see where it takes me.

For those of you that don't know me, and I guess also for those of you that do, you know that I call a small town in Michigan home. I hated it when I lived there, but now I am 714 miles away in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and I miss it more than any other place in the world. I just moved here, and I'm chasing after a dream God put in my heart quite a few years ago. I'm currently 18 years old, attending North Central University, and majoring in Intercultural Studies with a TEFL track. I'm going to be a missionary to China when I "grow up" and I guess that's really all you need to know about me for now.

Moving here was, and still is, quite the adjustment. I've been away from home before and I have always dreamed about being here, so for the months leading up to the move, I was ready. I was thinking "hey, piece of cake." But when I finally had to say goodbye to everyone back home, reality hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't want to leave. And even when I got here, I wanted to go back home.

There are still days I want to go home. I want to quit. I want to turn around and get on a plane and call it quits. And I could do that. I could take the easy route. I could go back home and go to a community college and live at home and have all my friends and my church and I could grow up to do some career that pays the bills. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that community college is bad or staying home for a few years is settling for second best for everyone, but it would be for me. It would be a slap in the face to God, because God created me as a dreamer, as a risk-taker, as someone that steps out in faith for what He has me. And weather I like it or not, this is what He has for me. This is where I belong. This is where I have been dreaming of my whole life.

Dreams are crazy. I've always known that I'm a dreamer, that I'm someone that listens to what God wants for me and chases after it with all that's in me. I've never been afraid to risk everything for something better that God has in store. That is, until I got here. When I got here, I was terrified. I was so afraid of everything, and it was a weird thing to me. I felt like I should have just been happy and excited that everything I've been dreaming of is finally happening, but I wasn't. I was so, so afraid. I still am. Every second of every day here terrifies me. It breaks my heart to be away from the people I love. It sucks, a lot.

But I love it here. I love it here because I know that this is what God has for me. And every second of every day terrifies me, but it also excites me. It excites me because I am home. It may not feel like it yet, but I am. I am where God wants me. And I just have to trust that He knows what He's doing. I have to have faith in Him. I have to step out and move on and it hurts, but it also fills me with incredible joy. It's a roller coaster of emotions.

This is a journey. It's a new chapter in my life. It's the start of the next four years I will spend here at NCU, and the start of the rest of my life. It's where my dreams start coming true, and where they will continue to come true. Every journey has different things in store, and it's like I've just set of on this road trip. I know where the beginning is and I know where the end is, but I don't know what's in the middle. I don't know what's along the road. And I may come up to some detours or traffic or even accidents, but I have to believe that God will be with me every step of the way. And so will you guys. And I guess I've just been saying all of this to say that this is why I have created this blog: to share with you guys. To show you what God is showing me, what God is brining me to and through. I'm on this crazy journey of watching everything I have ever dreamed of come true, and I guess you guys are kind of along for the ride.

I'll try to keep up with this as much as possible, and to stay vulnerable and real. I hope you guys keep reading. (: