Have you ever found yourself somewhere and wondered how the heck you got there? I'm not talking about literal places, but in life. Like somehow all of the sudden you're at rock bottom and you don't understand how it happened. You didn't notice your life spiraling out of control until it was too late to do something, and all of the sudden you find yourself at this place where you don't really know what or who you live for anymore.
Today, I found myself there. I found myself in this place where I go through the motions, where I'm complacent, where there is no strive for more. I blamed it on the busyness of life for a while, but that's no excuse for neglecting the person that saved my life. I think it's really easy to get here on a Christian campus. I'm constantly surrounded by people that love God, I have no choice but to go to chapel every day, and I hear about God pretty much every moment during classes. I study the Bible in my classes and go to Praise Gatherings every Wednesday night. It's routine. It's easy. But there's no personal connection, no strive to have more and more of God. It's just going through the motions of being a student at a Christian college.
I'm not saying that I'm not saved or that I don't love God or anything like that, because I do. I love God with my whole heart, but that's still not enough. It's not enough to just be happy with where I am in my walk with God. Because when that happens, I find that I'd much rather text my friends than read my Bible. I'd much rather finish up on my homework than spend a few moments alone with God. And those things are good things. Friends, homework, Facebook - that's all good stuff, when it's put into it's place. And it's place is NOT before God. It should never, ever take priority over Christ, and if I'm being completely honest, it is right now in my life.
So today God called me to do something that may seem like a little thing, but to me it's a pretty big thing. He said to turn off my phone for a week and to just press into Him. I believe with my whole heart that He has something huge in store for me here. He didn't bring me here for no reason, He has a purpose, I'm just ignoring it and letting other things take priority in my life. So, this week, my phone is staying off. I'm just going to love God and seek His face and see what He has for me. I am so excited. I know that it's going to be great. He's going to change my life because every single day I spend with Him is a chance for my life to be radically altered by my Creator.
I hope this week is awesome for you guys, and that you are also changed by God in the days to come. I know that God has something big for each and every one of us, sometimes we just have to evaluate ourselves and see where our priorities truly lie. It's going to be a great week, guys. I really believe it.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Talents
Well, it's been a crazy two weeks here at NCU. I've been really busy with classes, homework, chapel services, various floor events, and attempting to maintain a bit of a social life. It's been great, it's been hard, and I can finally say I love it here. It's incredible being surrounded by people who have the same passion for Christ as I do. I love the atmosphere. I love everything about this place.
I have made quite a few friends since coming here and I am so grateful for each and every one of them because I know that God has placed them in my life to be such a blessing to me. They already are incredible blessings and it's just so cool to watch God bring more and more awesome people into my life.
God has been doing a lot in my life since I got here. If I sat here and wrote every single thing out, I wouldn't be finished until class tomorrow. I'm sure that over the course of the year, I will be posting about most of these things, but one in particular stood out to me tonight especially during our Life Core meeting: talents.
I'm not one of those girls that really struggles with self-image. That's just not me. Sure, I have my days when I don't feel as beautiful as I should, but I never sit and tell myself I'm fat or ugly or my nose is too big or something like that. That's just not me. God has blessed me with being able to see the beauty he has created me with, and I'm really glad for that. So tonight when we were doing our Life Core meeting, it was all about lies that you tell yourself or allow the Devil to tell you. Most of the girls in my group were writing things about self-image issues, but that wasn't what came to mind for me. What came to mind for me was my talents.
I think I have no talents. I'm not just saying that so that people can comment and tell me that I'm oh so talented, so don't think that. I'm just being real with you guys. I'm so hard on myself when it comes to talents. I suck at sports. I can't paint or draw or knit or do anything artsy to save my life. I can't sing or dance. I can't tell you a single thing about anything Science related. I'm good at school, yeah, but I'm not the best. I can write, sure, but so can a lot of people. It's nothing special. But God has really been working with me on this. He has been showing me that I do, in fact, have talents. Talents that I can use in my life. And He showed me in a pretty silly sounding way. For my Foundations of Leadership class, we had to take this test called the "Strength Finder" and these were my top five strengths:
1. Belief (sticking to a strong sense of values)
2. Developer (seeing the good in people)
3. Restorative (being able to deal with problems)
4. Input (finding interest and excitement in "the little things")
5. Futuristic (dreaming big and going after those dreams)
So after I got my results, I read a little bit about the strengths I have. And for the first time in my whole life, I saw my talents as something that was worth something. I saw them as useful. I saw how I could use them in the real world. For the first time ever, I felt like I actually had talents.
I know now. I know that God made me with many, many talents. I know that He sees those talents and is so proud of me when I use them for Him. I may not be able to play a sport, but I can ace a test. I may not be able to dance or sing, but I can move people with my words. I may not be able to paint a picture, but I can write a story. I can talk in front of people. I am passionate. I can dream bigger than most. I can stick to my values in hard times. I am compassionate. I am on fire for God. I run hard after what God has for me. I live my life with reckless abandonment.
It's really, really cool to finally see this; to finally see worth in my talents. I am so blessed and I am so glad God showed me this. It's really incredible. I hope you guys see it too, I hope you know that God made you with talents that are specific to His life plan for you. He doesn't make mistakes. He knows what He's doing. Remember that.
God bless.
I have made quite a few friends since coming here and I am so grateful for each and every one of them because I know that God has placed them in my life to be such a blessing to me. They already are incredible blessings and it's just so cool to watch God bring more and more awesome people into my life.
God has been doing a lot in my life since I got here. If I sat here and wrote every single thing out, I wouldn't be finished until class tomorrow. I'm sure that over the course of the year, I will be posting about most of these things, but one in particular stood out to me tonight especially during our Life Core meeting: talents.
I'm not one of those girls that really struggles with self-image. That's just not me. Sure, I have my days when I don't feel as beautiful as I should, but I never sit and tell myself I'm fat or ugly or my nose is too big or something like that. That's just not me. God has blessed me with being able to see the beauty he has created me with, and I'm really glad for that. So tonight when we were doing our Life Core meeting, it was all about lies that you tell yourself or allow the Devil to tell you. Most of the girls in my group were writing things about self-image issues, but that wasn't what came to mind for me. What came to mind for me was my talents.
I think I have no talents. I'm not just saying that so that people can comment and tell me that I'm oh so talented, so don't think that. I'm just being real with you guys. I'm so hard on myself when it comes to talents. I suck at sports. I can't paint or draw or knit or do anything artsy to save my life. I can't sing or dance. I can't tell you a single thing about anything Science related. I'm good at school, yeah, but I'm not the best. I can write, sure, but so can a lot of people. It's nothing special. But God has really been working with me on this. He has been showing me that I do, in fact, have talents. Talents that I can use in my life. And He showed me in a pretty silly sounding way. For my Foundations of Leadership class, we had to take this test called the "Strength Finder" and these were my top five strengths:
1. Belief (sticking to a strong sense of values)
2. Developer (seeing the good in people)
3. Restorative (being able to deal with problems)
4. Input (finding interest and excitement in "the little things")
5. Futuristic (dreaming big and going after those dreams)
So after I got my results, I read a little bit about the strengths I have. And for the first time in my whole life, I saw my talents as something that was worth something. I saw them as useful. I saw how I could use them in the real world. For the first time ever, I felt like I actually had talents.
I know now. I know that God made me with many, many talents. I know that He sees those talents and is so proud of me when I use them for Him. I may not be able to play a sport, but I can ace a test. I may not be able to dance or sing, but I can move people with my words. I may not be able to paint a picture, but I can write a story. I can talk in front of people. I am passionate. I can dream bigger than most. I can stick to my values in hard times. I am compassionate. I am on fire for God. I run hard after what God has for me. I live my life with reckless abandonment.
It's really, really cool to finally see this; to finally see worth in my talents. I am so blessed and I am so glad God showed me this. It's really incredible. I hope you guys see it too, I hope you know that God made you with talents that are specific to His life plan for you. He doesn't make mistakes. He knows what He's doing. Remember that.
God bless.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Why ANOTHER Blog?
Hello (:
For those of you that know me, you may or may not know that I have another blog on Tumblr, but I've decided that it's time to enter the fascinating world of Blogger yet again (I've done this in the past, just never really kept up with it) and see where it takes me.
For those of you that don't know me, and I guess also for those of you that do, you know that I call a small town in Michigan home. I hated it when I lived there, but now I am 714 miles away in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and I miss it more than any other place in the world. I just moved here, and I'm chasing after a dream God put in my heart quite a few years ago. I'm currently 18 years old, attending North Central University, and majoring in Intercultural Studies with a TEFL track. I'm going to be a missionary to China when I "grow up" and I guess that's really all you need to know about me for now.
Moving here was, and still is, quite the adjustment. I've been away from home before and I have always dreamed about being here, so for the months leading up to the move, I was ready. I was thinking "hey, piece of cake." But when I finally had to say goodbye to everyone back home, reality hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't want to leave. And even when I got here, I wanted to go back home.
There are still days I want to go home. I want to quit. I want to turn around and get on a plane and call it quits. And I could do that. I could take the easy route. I could go back home and go to a community college and live at home and have all my friends and my church and I could grow up to do some career that pays the bills. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that community college is bad or staying home for a few years is settling for second best for everyone, but it would be for me. It would be a slap in the face to God, because God created me as a dreamer, as a risk-taker, as someone that steps out in faith for what He has me. And weather I like it or not, this is what He has for me. This is where I belong. This is where I have been dreaming of my whole life.
Dreams are crazy. I've always known that I'm a dreamer, that I'm someone that listens to what God wants for me and chases after it with all that's in me. I've never been afraid to risk everything for something better that God has in store. That is, until I got here. When I got here, I was terrified. I was so afraid of everything, and it was a weird thing to me. I felt like I should have just been happy and excited that everything I've been dreaming of is finally happening, but I wasn't. I was so, so afraid. I still am. Every second of every day here terrifies me. It breaks my heart to be away from the people I love. It sucks, a lot.
But I love it here. I love it here because I know that this is what God has for me. And every second of every day terrifies me, but it also excites me. It excites me because I am home. It may not feel like it yet, but I am. I am where God wants me. And I just have to trust that He knows what He's doing. I have to have faith in Him. I have to step out and move on and it hurts, but it also fills me with incredible joy. It's a roller coaster of emotions.
This is a journey. It's a new chapter in my life. It's the start of the next four years I will spend here at NCU, and the start of the rest of my life. It's where my dreams start coming true, and where they will continue to come true. Every journey has different things in store, and it's like I've just set of on this road trip. I know where the beginning is and I know where the end is, but I don't know what's in the middle. I don't know what's along the road. And I may come up to some detours or traffic or even accidents, but I have to believe that God will be with me every step of the way. And so will you guys. And I guess I've just been saying all of this to say that this is why I have created this blog: to share with you guys. To show you what God is showing me, what God is brining me to and through. I'm on this crazy journey of watching everything I have ever dreamed of come true, and I guess you guys are kind of along for the ride.
I'll try to keep up with this as much as possible, and to stay vulnerable and real. I hope you guys keep reading. (:
For those of you that know me, you may or may not know that I have another blog on Tumblr, but I've decided that it's time to enter the fascinating world of Blogger yet again (I've done this in the past, just never really kept up with it) and see where it takes me.
For those of you that don't know me, and I guess also for those of you that do, you know that I call a small town in Michigan home. I hated it when I lived there, but now I am 714 miles away in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and I miss it more than any other place in the world. I just moved here, and I'm chasing after a dream God put in my heart quite a few years ago. I'm currently 18 years old, attending North Central University, and majoring in Intercultural Studies with a TEFL track. I'm going to be a missionary to China when I "grow up" and I guess that's really all you need to know about me for now.
Moving here was, and still is, quite the adjustment. I've been away from home before and I have always dreamed about being here, so for the months leading up to the move, I was ready. I was thinking "hey, piece of cake." But when I finally had to say goodbye to everyone back home, reality hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't want to leave. And even when I got here, I wanted to go back home.
There are still days I want to go home. I want to quit. I want to turn around and get on a plane and call it quits. And I could do that. I could take the easy route. I could go back home and go to a community college and live at home and have all my friends and my church and I could grow up to do some career that pays the bills. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that community college is bad or staying home for a few years is settling for second best for everyone, but it would be for me. It would be a slap in the face to God, because God created me as a dreamer, as a risk-taker, as someone that steps out in faith for what He has me. And weather I like it or not, this is what He has for me. This is where I belong. This is where I have been dreaming of my whole life.
Dreams are crazy. I've always known that I'm a dreamer, that I'm someone that listens to what God wants for me and chases after it with all that's in me. I've never been afraid to risk everything for something better that God has in store. That is, until I got here. When I got here, I was terrified. I was so afraid of everything, and it was a weird thing to me. I felt like I should have just been happy and excited that everything I've been dreaming of is finally happening, but I wasn't. I was so, so afraid. I still am. Every second of every day here terrifies me. It breaks my heart to be away from the people I love. It sucks, a lot.
But I love it here. I love it here because I know that this is what God has for me. And every second of every day terrifies me, but it also excites me. It excites me because I am home. It may not feel like it yet, but I am. I am where God wants me. And I just have to trust that He knows what He's doing. I have to have faith in Him. I have to step out and move on and it hurts, but it also fills me with incredible joy. It's a roller coaster of emotions.
This is a journey. It's a new chapter in my life. It's the start of the next four years I will spend here at NCU, and the start of the rest of my life. It's where my dreams start coming true, and where they will continue to come true. Every journey has different things in store, and it's like I've just set of on this road trip. I know where the beginning is and I know where the end is, but I don't know what's in the middle. I don't know what's along the road. And I may come up to some detours or traffic or even accidents, but I have to believe that God will be with me every step of the way. And so will you guys. And I guess I've just been saying all of this to say that this is why I have created this blog: to share with you guys. To show you what God is showing me, what God is brining me to and through. I'm on this crazy journey of watching everything I have ever dreamed of come true, and I guess you guys are kind of along for the ride.
I'll try to keep up with this as much as possible, and to stay vulnerable and real. I hope you guys keep reading. (:
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