Still I Will Praise You

I have $800 due for my Kenya trip tomorrow and I have pretty much none of it. I know this is a rough way to start out a blog post, but it's what's on my mind. I'm sure this is going to be a very vulnerable post, so bear with me.

I wasn't okay with this. I didn't know how to deal with it, because I have never been called to a trip God didn't provide for. I have always, always had God come through, and tonight, I don't really know if that is going to happen. It's hard. It makes me question God. It makes me question myself. It makes me question if I really heard from God calling me on this trip or not.

I'll be honest with you guys. I've been ignoring God a lot this past week, for a few reasons. One of the main reasons was because I didn't know how to be okay with this whole money situation. I spent some time with God tonight, though, and He spoke a few things to me about this.

He brought me to the story in Daniel about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. If you've ever been in Sunday school, you know the story. They were about to get thrown into a fiery furnace for not bowing down to an idol and they responded in Daniel 3:17-18

"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand. But even if He does not, we want you to know that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

Those verses just blow my mind. I can't believe the amount of trust those three men had in God. They weren't facing $800. They were facing a life or death situation, and they chose to stare into those flames and say their trust was still in the Lord. I really love verse 18, where they say, "Even if He does not, we want you to know we will not serve your gods." That's so amazing to me. I want to have that kind of faith, that kind of trust. I want to be able to say, "Even if God doesn't provide this $800, I will still serve Him." And tonight, I will say that. I will trust God, regardless of what happens with this money.

God may provide in a miraculous way for me tonight. He may not. But whatever happens, I will still serve Him. I will still put all my trust and faith in Him. I will still follow Him. I will still love Him with all of my heart. Because He is my God, and in all things, He is faithful.